Plate #7: Penne alla Vodka

Booze in food. I. Am. Into. It.

This stems, I think, from sparkling jello. The Internet hardly seems to remember it, but some time in the '90s, I was mesmerized by what Kraft was touting as its newest fancy, high-end, adult dessert. "The Champagne of Jell-o!" Just like the gross shit your kids are eating in the school cafeteria! But white grape flavored! And with bubbles! Goddamn did I think it looked grown up. You know why? Alc. O. Hol.

(Is it a digression if you haven't even started talking about the topic from which you would have digressed?)

The point is I made some pasta and also some vodka sauce.

Is there really vodka? It doesn't taste boozy. (Neither did sparkling white grape jello.) Why not just tomato cream sauce? Why not just pink sauce?!

Cream. Vodka? The world may never know.

Well. Let me put on my science pants.

Apparently tomatoes have certain flavor compounds that are most soluble in alcohol. Vodka, as opposed to wine or any other kind of alcoholic cooking liquid, is flavorless (in theory) and therefore releases enhances the hidden tomato flavors without adding any new ones. Putting the art on a pedestal, you might say, without bringing attention to the pedestal itself. And if you don't believe me, then at least believe the New York Times.

There we have it. Tomatoes. Vodka. Cream. Other yum things.

Other yum things.

We proceed as one would with any basic tomato sauce. Saute garlic and shallots or onions or whatever. Hit that with some red pepper flakes too, if you jive that way. Add a big can of crushed tomatoes. And salt and pepper. Let it hang for a while. Then! Vodka! Stir it in! Cook that until it doesn't smell like you're nostril hairs are burning. And finally, three of my eleventy faves, cream and basil and parm.

I know I say this about everything, but I could
die swimming in that pot.

So despite whatever urges you might have to eat that right out of the pan with a spoon, you should probably pour it over some penne. Because, that's like what the dish is called. Penne alla vodka. You should probably make sure the penne is cooked too.

I remembered to cook the pasta.

Penne alla Vodka
adapted from Food Network Magazine

2 shallots, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
salt, pepper, red pepper flakes to taste
28 oz. can crushed tomatoes
½ cup vodka
⅔ cup heavy cream
½ cup grated parmesan
handful of basil, roughly chopped

Saute shallots and garlic in butter. Season with salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes. Add crushed tomatoes and simmer for 15-20 minutes. Add vodka and simmer until alcohol cooks off. Stir in heavy cream and parmesan, and then basil. Serve over penne.